records of a young girls thoughts

JUNE 27, 2026

no serious entries(yet). i really wanna try an ikea princess cake..

JUNE 24, 2026

oh so tired.

JUNE 22, 2026

i think the past month or two i have discovered my actual,
true self.. a rebirth of my soul. i have made very bad decisions in my life,
constantly people pleasing and trying to compensate for not loving that one guy i had stuck myself with for
half a year.
in the back of my mind i knew i had loved c throughout all of this deep disgusting hell i have been in for atleast 7 long years.
im aware im still young and have time but it doesnt feel like i do.
i want to go back seven years and just shoot younger me point blank in the head or shake her or do something to prevent these events.
i now know why, whenever i was in a relationship, i was just entertaining the person, not actually feeling love.
when i did "feel love", it was more like i was happy I WAS loved by the person and that I would say words of affirmations/lies to them to keep them happy
and loving me. because i wanted love.
wanted physical touch in the case of my last relationship. i wanted my cam. i know im only seventeen but i feel like ive lived atleast 10 lives. I've loved my cam for a good 10 years.

JUNE 21, 2026

my head hurts and i just want to be held by my C.

JUNE 18, 2026

woke up to a horrible start.
the power wnt out 3 times, was off for a while but is now back on.
i have been up since 6am and havve not yet gone back to sleep.
god help me.

JUNE 16, 2026

i hate unloading the dishwasher.
thats it, that's the entry.
nothing serious for today.. may stay up late working on the site.

JUNE 14, 2026

i have nothing "serious" to say today despite being kinda bummed
about Oliver Tree's death. his old music holds
a lot of nostalgia for me.

JUNE 11, 2026

i just want to go home.
i will very, very soon..
oh so very tired of all of this..

JUNE 10, 2026

so much i want to say, yet,
so little time...